Bucaramanga, Santander, Colombia
Hormigas Culonas (leaf-cutter ants)

One of the cigar and liquor stores in Bogotá selling hormigasOne of the cigar and liquor stores in Bogotá selling hormigas

Colombia, South America is truly an amazing country with a wide variety of hearty foods and delicacies. What has to rank at the top of the country’s most unusual cuisine are hormigas culonas. The Spanish name literally translates to “big-butt ants”, which as it turns out is a very accurate description. I had been to Colombia several times, but unfortunately not at the time of year when they are harvested, roasted and snacked on. On my last visit to Bogotá at the beginning of April, I was told by my wife Claudia’s uncle that the ants were in season and I stood a good chance of getting them while I was there. The reason these treats are seasonal is because only the winged females are harvested as they leave the nest to start their own colony, and event that takes place for a few weeks in the spring. The ants are harvested in the rural areas of Santander department (Colombian “departments” are the equivalent of American states), processed in larger cities such as Bucaramanga, then shipped and sold. I was anticipating having to visit a Colombian restaurant and ask if they have ants, expecting an argument about how clean their establishment is, but they are actually sold packaged in cigar and liquor stores.

Ants on a plane - Enjoy!Ants on a plane - Enjoy!

My brother-in-law told me of a place near the Plaza de Toros Santamaria (Bogotá’s bullfighting ring) where he had seen them advertised, but it was questionable when we would be able to get over to that part of the city. While being driven back to our hotel (I prefer not to drive there, which gives me an opportunity to bury my face in my hands and scream) I saw a handwritten banner draped across the top of a cigarreria that read “HORMIGAS” in huge letters. I asked the driver to stop so that I could go ant shopping, and brought Claudia with me for translation purposes. In my best Spanish (which isn’t that great), I asked, “¿Tiene hormigas?” and was presented with the small, medium and large bag. I felt that if I really liked them, the small bag would be inadequate; consequently, having a large bag of nasty-tasting insects would not be a wise investment – I opted for the medium bag (at about $15 US). The clear plastic bag was stapled shut with no markings on it, and the contents looked like raisins or very dark shelled peanuts. I decided to wait until I returned to the U.S. to try them and so in my backpack they went.

Not very daring - this was probably my 60th ant

As my return flight got closer to LAX, I wondered how these would be treated at customs. They weren’t alive, and they certainly weren’t meat or plants, but not being sure, I decided to try some in the event that I would have to forfeit them. I opened the bag and smelled them first – they gave off a woodsy, meaty aroma. I studied them closely and noticed that the ones that were still in one piece were big, about an inch long. The wings had been removed but the little legs and head were still attached, and so I popped a single ant in my mouth. The taste was unlike anything I had imagined – it actually had the flavor and texture of bacon-flavored popcorn with just the right amount of salt. I’ve heard others say they tasted like Spanish peanuts, but I didn’t get that at all – just a light, crunchy, meaty taste.  I wondered if the bacony flavor was a result of being roasted in pork fat, but with no ingredients listed, it was anybody’s guess. I could easily see watching fútbol while enjoying a cold Aguila and a crispy bowl of hormigas (if that’s how I rolled).

I enjoyed the taste so much that I ate a handful of them on the plane; since the little damsels still have their legs, flossing is highly recommended after consuming them in quantity. I debated how to present them at Customs in Los Angeles, but was hurriedly waved through without so much as a question – in fact I started to speak and the agent simply repeated, “Good night!!” Since finding a new tasty snack treat without being able to share it with others is unthinkable, I offered them to others I worked with. You could say the feedback after the initial shock of eating ants was anticlimactic. It just goes to show that you shouldn’t be antsy about trying insects, no matter how much the thought of it bugs you.

Cigarreria Henry’s
Av 15 # 104-05
(Carrera 15 at Calle 104)
Bogotá, D.C., Cundinamarca, Colombia
GPS coordinates: 4°41’19.65″N 74° 2’47.88″W

VIDEO: Watch Val and friends eat hormigas culonas:



 

Santa Monica, California
Crickets and Scorpoins (Typhoon)

 

Scorpions dance across shrimp toastScorpions dance across shrimp toast

I have always had this dream of visiting Beijing for the sole purpose of getting a skewer of big, fat roasted scorpions. Scorpions come from the same class as spiders, but as members of the Arthropod crime family are also distantly related to lobsters, crabs, crayfish and shrimp. That having been said, it stands to reason that crunching into a size 10 scorpion should be akin to chewing on a small, thin-shelled lobster. Not having plane fare to China stuffed under the mattress, I opted to get them locally at Typhoon Restaurant in Santa Monica, California. I had heard that Typhoon had a special section of the menu featuring the targets of our flyswatters and anticipated six and eight-legged culinary delights. Typhoon is a trendy restaurant and bar decorated in wood, metal and glass with huge windows that wrap around the restaurant to provide a view of planes taking off and landing; in fact, you can even pull your private plane right up to the restaurant. Most of the menu items are Southeast Asian fusion, but the target of my gastronomic adventure was the insect menu, with scorpion being my top choice.

One of the scorpions I pried loose from its toast mount

I ordered the scorpion, (which the menu informed was served “Singapore style” on shrimp toast) and “Taiwanese” crickets (stir-fried with chili peppers, garlic and served with potato strings). My only previous experience eating crickets was snacking on a single roasted cricket encased in a tiny block of chocolate, and I was excited about the prospect of being able to properly experience the taste. The wait staff was courteous, but the food seemed to take awhile to arrive. I envisioned one of the kitchen staff running around on the runway with an apron and a butterfly net trying to catch my meal. My mouth was watering with the thought of a nice platter of Emperor scorpions, poised with claws held high and having suffered the flames to defend their piece of shrimp toast turf. My anticipation turned to slight disappointment – I was given a plate with two pieces of bread about the size of the little rye toast you get in a bag of Gardetto’s, and fried into each was a tiny brown scorpion less than an inch and a half long. I was thinking of how to pry the tiny thing off the toast without severely dismembering it and met with success after some careful manipulation with the knife. They were mostly exoskeleton, and the closest thing I could compare the taste and texture to would be if you at the little fan tail on a fried shrimp. I can’t confirm whether the shrimp flavor came from the scorpions or the toast, but the tiny size of the scorpions didn’t provide much of an opportunity to find out. I’m guessing these are served as dares or for the gross-out factor so that diners can boast to their friends that they ate a scorpion, but it left me wanting something more substantial. If you want to try scorpion, this is as good as entry-level gets.

Pinocchio has lost a friend and his family

The crickets appeared to be in great supply. Apparently they had raided a pet shop or found a nest as my dinner plate was heavily populated with them. The crickets were mixed liberally with string potatoes (literally the width of a piece of string), diced chilis and chunks of raw garlic in a glorious mound of food. The only negative was that there was a little too much salt, and the garlic was overpowering. I actually picked out the little pieces of garlic and put them to the side – I can imagine how backwards it must have looked to bystanders with me picking food out of my bugs. Unlike the scorpions, the crickets were full of flavor – imagine the taste of a tiny salad shrimp wrapped in a walnut leaf and toasted and you get the idea of the taste and texture. I ate several by themselves first to get the taste, and then started mixing them with the potatoes. Overall, the crickets became a personal favorite; the scorpions, while tasty were somewhat of a tease, and I was left wanting more to get a better idea of the taste. I would have tried the chicken-stuffed water bugsthat were on the menu on-line, but unfortunately these were not on the menu at the restaurant (they may only served what they are besieged with at the moment).

Insects and arachnids aren’t for everybody but I think if you like the crustaceans you may enjoy them. If nothing else, you can look at it as revenge for all the picnics they may have ruined for you.

Typhoon
3221 Donald Douglas Loop South
Santa Monica, CA 90405-3213
GPS coordinates: 34° 0’59.05″N 118°26’54.39″W

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