moko (***CLOSED***)
Culver City, California

A selection of fresh banchanA selection of fresh banchan

Los Angeles’ Koreatown features a plethora of grill-it-yourself BBQ joints frequented by Angelenos, and while there’s something intoxicating about hearing raw animal flesh pop and crackle over a gas flame, there’s an undiscovered country of updated, modern Korean cuisine to be had in the sleek, new moko in Culver City. There’s nothing particularly nationalistic about the front bar area – no flags, karaoke, Korean Budweiser banners, just wood and stone in crisp lines and the familiar exposed wooden arched ceilings that seem to be a popular feature of the L.A. area’s gutted vintage buildings. If drinks and light fare are your thing, you can hang out at the bar and nosh on fresh and inventive banchan dishes; although moko stocks a variety of soju, on my visit I opted to try the Amore Manhattan since lately it seems to be a good comparison drink. moko’s take on the New York namesake features Old Overholt rye and maraschino liqueur, and although I found the cocktail particularly sweet, it seemed to represent vanilla more than cherry.

Sleek and modern dining areaSleek and modern dining area

The banchan was remarkably fresh and while the menu features favorites such as kimchi, I sampled more western-influenced vegetable dishes. A baby asparagus namul has snap and a milder taste than I expected – the tiny stalks were tossed with barley, pea sprouts and what was billed as crispy garlic (which lost its crisp sitting in the pool of liquid at the bottom of the dish). The sugar snap peas were shredded into chewy aromatic strands which nicely offset the wok-seared squid and green “golden shoots”. Although flavorful, the watermelon namul with slivered toasted almonds tasted wasn’t much of a departure from eating a dish of cubed watermelon. The sautéed purple eggplant namul in green onions and sesame became spicier at I ate my way through it, but I have to say my favorite were the sweet and nutty lotus root slices. The cross-sections looked like Viewmaster slides; they imparted a strong soy taste which thankfully wasn’t as salty as expected (possibly from being “honey braised”).

Seafood jeon pancakeSeafood jeon pancake

After the banchan, we retired to a table in the back in which was set a small but familiar gas grill. Although I was still nursing my Manhattan, we tried a slushy minted watermelon ice with spicy vodka and Aperol that was cool and refreshing and a good fallback plan for that pesky leftover watermelon namul.  A clear, crisp Citroën soju had the smoothness of fine tequila – the soju served is made in California in a Japanese production style, making it truly a multinational sipping drink. The soju complemented the three raw dishes served:  a garlicky tuna dressed with yuzu, soy and blood orange that dissolved on the tongue; thin filets of fluke with citrus, nori and fresh shoots; and, my personal favorite, hamachi in an orange citrus foam and garnished with tiny, diced, pickled jalapeno and crisp, toasted garlic.

The result of my grilling skillsThe result of my grilling skills

Two types of skewers were brought out – the first featured crispy cubes of pork belly and melty scallops with minted grapefruit, which seemed like an odd combination, but the flavors didn’t trample each other. The second was a skewer of simple, buttery chunks of the tip of the filet mignon served with a red chili pineapple ssamjang and truffle essence; julienned Asian pear was stacked alongside the skewers like a fruity game of Jenga as a steak fry tribute. Just when I thought the food cavalcade was coming to an end, a pizza-like jeon pancake was brought out featuring items from the “S” food group (shrimp, scallop and squid) and topped with asparagus, green onions, avocado and spicy greens; this could was substantial enough to be a meal in itself. Big, fat bao buns nestled a BBQ pork ssam heaped with jalapeno slices, cilantro and citrus aioli followed by a chowdery ginger egg custard with Dungeness crab, blue shrimp, shitake and scallop that had a strong, barely cooked crab aroma and taste.

Beef marrow bone on the grillBeef marrow bone on the grill

I think I defied physics, somehow finding a way to plow through the raw items brought to the table to grill on a slab that looked eerily like some twisted alien autopsy. The platter was covered with neatly halved New Caledonian blue shrimp, live Kumamoto oysters, small strips of boned short rib, thin slices of apricot-marinated duck and a long, beef leg bone with the top section removed to reveal the marrow (which looked like a bovine canoe). Once grilled, the greasy, earthy marrow made a nice spread for the toasted sections of a green onion focaccia; we were told that that variety of shrimp had an edible shell, but it still required some chewing. The problem with the duck and short ribs was that even though they were marinated, when left on the grill too long they were almost indistinguishable.

Green tea shortcakeGreen tea shortcake

Even though I was stuffed like ssam, I still found room for dessert. I must have misinterpreted the description of one of the desserts; a creamy confection billed as parfait was topped with fresh berries and while the desert was delicious it didn’t seem very parfait-like sitting on a dish out in the open. The green tea shortcake with freshly whipped cream was astounding; not only was it packed with flavor, but the green color of the pastry knocked my socks off. Anyone dining at moko expecting a traditional Korean spread may be disappointed, but keep an open mind and I assure you that you will enjoy the updated Korean fare that moko takes into the 21st century. Although it may be a departure from what you’re familiar with I think you’ll find that moko isn’t all that loco.

moko
9540 Culver Boulevard
Culver City CA 90232
GPS Coordinates: 34° 1’23.16″N 118°23’41.02″W

GALLERY: See images from Val’s dinner at moko in Culver City CA

NOTE: This cost for this meal was provided by the restaurant. The content provided in this article was not influenced whatsoever by the organizer of the event.

 

Night+Market
West Hollywood CA

A simple neon sign heralds the Night+MarketA simple neon sign heralds the Night+Market

For over three decades, the Yenbamroong family has been a fixture on the Los Angeles restaurant scene with a fleet of Thai restaurants, mostly catering to Western tastes. At the beginning of 2011, heir to the throne Kris Yenbamroong transformed the former Key Club office in the space adjacent to family’s established Talesai restaurant on Sunset Strip into Night+Market, a sparse, modern restaurant serving (as the neon sign advertises), Thai street food. Yenbamroong is quick to point out that Thais might be slightly put off by the term street food, as he essentially captures the essence of home cooked folksy food, using recipes gathered from his extended family and creating his own renditions of the traditional cuisine. The menu fare is primarily (but not limited to) dishes from the northern region of the country that the clan calls home.

Crispy pork toro (pork collar)Crispy pork toro (pork collar)

Pork figures prominently on the menu, including an unusual variety of cuts in unique, flavorful preparations, but this isn’t a case of Yenbamroong catching a free ride on the hip “nose-to-tail” bandwagon – the dishes are reproductions of cuisine that is the product of a people making do with the ingredients on hand. At the lavish menu tasting I was recently invited to sample, the first dishes out belied the restaurant’s departure from Anglicized Thai food; moist and tender skewers of condensed milk-soaked pork satay and an eggy minced chicken larb gai, although flavorful, did nothing to shatter my notions of what defines Thai food. I understand that pad thai finds a place on the menu, but bears little similarity to the Western expectation of the noodle dish.  I was still remarking how unusually flavor-packed their homemade shrimp chips (with a peppery accompanying sauce that has the look and consistency of a dark tomato paste) were when they brought out the heavy artillery. One dish that looked like chunks of grilled onion turned out to be what Yenbamroong has named “pork toro” made from the hog collar, a delicious fatty and under-appreciated cut of pork. The little piggy nibbles were slightly chewy with the texture of a firm, grilled vegetable and took their deep color and flavor from dark soy sauce. Since your typical pig has two ears, it was only fitting that there were as many dishes featuring them. The pig ear strips stir fried with chile and garlic were instantly recognizable by the white membrane sandwiched between fleshy pork, but the outrageously tender deep-fried, tempura-battered pig ear could have passed for calamari tentacles. Essentially, Yenbamroong has successfully made a sow’s ear into a silk purse.

The chorizo-like sai uah northern pork sausageThe chorizo-like sai uah northern pork sausage

From the trailing end of the beast were equally unrecognizable pig tails. These succulent hunks of flesh are initially charred in a wok on high heat, braised and then deep fried, resulting in pork that literally melts in your mouth – there’s a good chance this dish could put Pre-Chew Charlie’s out of business. Two types of pork sausage were represented: the quail egg-sized sour sai krok isaan (earning its sour merit badge through 1 to 2 days of fermentation prior to cooking) and a northern sai uah (chiengrai herbed sausage served with noom salsa and cucumber). The sai uah had the consistency of chorizo and the fiery bite of a cobra and the sweet, sticky coconut rice was the only antidote at the table. Night+Market’s catfish tamale would look perfectly at home on a diner’s plate in a Oaxacan restaurant, wrapped lovingly in banana leaves plucked from Yenbamroong’s patio garden, but there was nothing Latino about the aroma of the fresh herbs and ground catfish that emanated from the unveiled treat. Nuoc mam chicken wings marinated in fish sauce were fried to perfection and almost tasted like seafood (a reversal of the “tastes like chicken” syndrome).

The flavors of the kao kluk gapi play together on the plateThe flavors of the kao kluk gapi play together on the plate

The two most formidable dishes sampled that evening were brought out last; the first was in impressive and attractive bowl of kao kluk gapi featuring rice flavored with shrimp paste and tiny dried shrimp, candied pork, shredded egg, red onion, green mango, cilantro and evil little Thai bird eye chiles. The dish arrived at in collective mounds to be mixed tableside and the wonderful aspect was that each forkful was flavored with whichever component was most prominent at the time. A bowl of kua gling (“border beef tendertail” simmered in chili paste and garnished with finely shredded kaffir lime leaves, also plucked from the garden) was the acme of incendiary cuisine – there was nothing on the table that would douse the flames of anguish spreading through my mouth – such rich, flavorful pain.

Quite literally, an ice cream sandwichQuite literally, an ice cream sandwich

Chef Yenbamroong showed mercy on me by the promise of a cooling ice cream sandwich for desert – little did I realize how literal that statement was. The Trippy Meter pegged into the red when a dish was placed on the table containing a scoop of coconut ice cream standing on the shoulders of sweet sticky rice permeated with condensed and evaporated milk, garnished with toasted mung beans and sandwiched, yes, sandwiched between two slices of bread. Granted, the bread used was pan de leche, but it was the oddest looking translation of the name I had ever seen. True to his word, the ice cream took the edge off my 3rd-degree burnt tongue, but I have to say that it was a sweet delight. I’m not sure if it because of the ingredients, but the bread took on the characteristics of angel food cake.

Yenbamroong is enjoying a brisk business, offering a unique take on Thai cuisine in southern California, and is planning expansion to the current offerings possibly including grilling on the patio (he recently acquired three Thai sausage grills) and noodle house dishes. Whatever direction Night+Market takes, I will be waiting in eager anticipation to Thai one on.

Night+Market
9043 Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood CA 90069
GPS Coordinates:  34° 5’26.58″N 118°23’20.74″W
Follow on twitter at http://twitter.com/NtMRKT

GALLERY: See images from Val’s dinner at Night+Market at  in West Hollywood CA

NOTE: This cost for this meal was provided by the restaurant. The content provided in this article was not influenced whatsoever by the organizer of the event.

 

Bánh mì
Vietnam

The namesake Buu Dien SandwichThe namesake Buu Dien Sandwich

To the untrained eye, banh mi might resemble a “five dollar foot-long”, but under the hood you’re likely to find the ingredients a tad less Western. The term bánh mì actually describes the baguette used to create this Vietnamese staple, a diminutive loaf of French bread made from wheat and rice flour. Bánh mì can have a variety of fillings, but traditionally features slices of ham and/or head cheese and stuffed silly with fresh crunchy vegetables including cilantro, hot peppers, cucumber and picked, shredded daikon radish and carrots. In Southern California there are a few hot spots where you don’t have to travel far to sample traditional and localized preparations of the workingman’s salad sandwich, including San Gabriel Valley and Little Saigon in Westminster.

BBQ pork banh mi from Lien HoaBBQ pork banh mi from Lien Hoa

I was invited to join The Minty on a bánh mì through L.A.’s Chinatown, and after the fun I had getting my Salvadoran on at her pupusa crawl, I eagerly signed up. She had planned 5 stops, which included a not-so-gourmet food truck and an upscale bistro serving up Anglicized versions of the sandwich at the end of the yellow brick road in Little Tokyo. There were four foodies in tow (myself included) and we quickly agreed that we would order one or two sandwiches at each stop and quarter them (a sensible survivor skill when dealing with multiple bread bombs). The first stop was Bưu Điện, a small storefront at the end of a parking lot alley with iron folding plates over the window. The menu featured about 10 variations, all listed on a banner on the wall, and we quickly agreed on the Bánh Mì Bưu Điện (their signature Bưu Điện Sandwich) and the Chả Lụa (a Vietnamese pork sausage). The Bưu Điện Sandwich was their version of the traditional sandwich featuring a pork pâté and sliced ham and chock full of the aforementioned vegetables. The bread was firm but not stale and it neatly postponed bites bursting with flavor and texture; the sausage was an odd shade of red and was crumbly and dry. While a refrigerator held soft drinks I was intrigued with the two fountain bubblers at the counter that held a brownish-black fluid and something that looked like lawn clippings run through a blender. I opted for the dark, murky beverage which turned out to be a tasty blend of five different teas.

The remainder of my meatball banh mi at LA SandwichThe remainder of my meatball banh mi at LA Sandwich

Our second stop was a confusing little place billed as “Liên Hoa Chinese Deli & Seafood Market”. Inside was a row of steam tables holding limbs and organs of undetermined fauna and a meat case holding executed whole roasted ducks hanging from hooks, illuminated by what looked like klieg lights. As I prepared to preserve Donald in digital celluloid the woman behind the counter shouted out, “No pictures”, obviously assuming I was going to copy their inimitable style and open my own Chinese deli in Laguna Beach. We ordered the Vietnamese Special and BBQ Pork sandwiches and waited while she “toasted” the bread. Since Liên Hoa serves up hot food but doesn’t have any place to sit, we opted to partake of our purchases on a bench out front, hoping that the belief that everything tastes better outdoors held true. Sadly, it did not. Both sandwiches were dry, doughy and salty and even though they featured different ingredients did not have much variance in taste.

Fried catfish banh mi at The Spice TableFried catfish banh mi at The Spice Table

Discouraged but not beaten, we crossed back over the street and into a nondescript indoor mini-mall to LA Sandwich, a place that looked like a Subway counter you might find at in a truck stop on I-5. The climate inside was so diverse that I expected hail over the cash register; one particular spot felt like it was under a heat lamp and the store was filled with the smell of burnt toast. LA Sandwich offered 6 sandwiches and we decided on the #2 Pate Chả Lụa (Vietnamese sausage pâté) and #6 Xiu Mai (steamed meatball). We sat at a burnished aluminum table in the hallway where we divided up the goods – the bánh mì gods must have been smiling upon us since the smell of charred bread was not emanating from our meal; the bread was toasted but soft and the buttery Vietnamese mayo was prominent in the sandwiches. I particularly liked the course-ground steamed meatballs which were complemented by the spicy, fresh cilantro, frisky jalapenos and cool, crisp cucumber.

French bread, tools of the trade at The Spice TableFrench bread, tools of the trade at The Spice Table

We looked for the Nam Thai Vietnamese Truck at its stated location, but being a vehicle we were outsmarted by its mobility. With only one stop on the crawl left, we traveled the mile or so to Little Tokyo to the upscale Spice Table. The interior of the antique brick building was well lit but looked like it would be more at home in Tuscany than Los Angeles. I wasn’t sure we were in the right place since every printed word in the place was in plain English. The Spice Table’s menu features five bánh mì sandwiches (simply referred to as “Sandwiches”). I wanted to stay with tradition, ordering the “Cold Cut” sandwich (featuring ham, pâté and head cheese); we also ordered their take on the meatball bánh mì and the bizarre fried catfish. The cold cut sandwich had the potential to be fresh and flavorful but sadly it was doused in a red Sriracha-like sauce that overpowered the dish. The meatballs were zesty and delicious and garnished with peanuts and fresh herbs, but I found the over-use of the red hot sauce annoying on this sandwich. It seems as though they douse all the sandwiches with the fiery brew, but it actually worked well with the fried catfish. The catfish nuggets were coated in a cornmeal batter that formed a crust, sealing in the juices and resulting in moist, tender bites. I laughed a little thinking that the assembly of the catfish on the baguette along with the hot sauce made the sandwich seem more like a po-boy than a bánh mì.

I always have fun on The Minty’s crawls and enjoyed the variety of choice in what is otherwise a simple sandwich, but short of booking a flight to Ho Chi Minh City I am now intrigued enough with bánh mì to head out to San Gabriel and Westminster in search of the real deal. Big A, I still crave your steak and cheese, but I now have a new sandwich to love.

Bưu Điện
642 N. Broadway
Los Angeles CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34° 3’34.77″N 118°14’20.28″W

Liên Hoa Deli & Seafood
721 N. Broadway
Los Angeles CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34° 3’39.27″N 118°14’20.91″W

L.A. Sandwiches
736 N. Broadway #106
Los Angeles CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34° 3’40.90″N  118°14’19.16″W

The Spice Table
114 S. Central St.
Los Angeles CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34° 2’55.20″N 118°14’20.65″W

GALLERY: See images from Val’s eatventure on The Minty’s banh mi crawl in Chinatown and Los Angeles, California

Read The Minty’s take on the banh mi crawl in L.A.’s Chinatown

 

Chinese aphrodisiac dinner

Hop Woo, Chinatown, Los Angeles

Bull penis and other unidentified objectsBull penis and other unidentified objects

I suppose before we get started I’ll preface this article with a warning to children, librarians and members of the clergy – I will be using the word “penis”. Repeatedly. Before you get the impression that you’ve stumbled upon a “Val Does Dallas” website, said penis was the business end of a male ox. Avid followers of this blog know that this isn’t my first foray into penile cuisine – my first experience experimenting with the pork sword (technically, the beef sword) was in phở at Pho Nguyen Hue in Westminster, California. Always the adventurer, I also had a mouthful of Eddie Lin’s bacon-wrapped johnson (not HIS personally) at a BizarreBQ last year. While trying to find an interesting dish to invite some bloggers and friends to try, the aforementioned Mr. Lin informed me that Chef Lupe Liang at the trippy Hop Woo in Chinatown whipped up a mean pot of bull penis soup, and so the game was afoot (and a penis). Initially the meal was going to be a one man play, with the penis soup giving the Tony award-winning performance of a lifetime, but it turns out that Chef Liang had a few tricks up his sleeve. What Chef Liang had planned was essentially an aphrodisiac dinner, with some food designed for other health benefits as well, the perfect feast for our dinner guests: Vivianne Lapointe of LIVE F>A>S>T Magazine, Arianna Armstrong of GrapeSmart, Food Truck Times and other food, wine and social sites, and The Minty, the eponymous host of a site covering food, drink and dating.

A live sea urchin pays homage to its dead familyA live sea urchin pays homage to its dead family

The first course (the penis soup) was brought out in individual covered soup tureens, leaving our imaginations to run wild while Chef Liang described the dish and its benefits in Chinese; I didn’t need a translator to get the general idea of what the soup was reputed to do as I caught his inflections and hand gestures. I momentarily envisioned opening the lid and having a bovine jack-in-the-box moment, but as in other preparations, the moo tool was finely sliced. I had to put on my journalistic game face overhearing Eddie ask Chef Liang how well he cleans his penis, while trying to size up the soup. The broth was a brown-black color and had a strong aroma of spices and herbs. One dip of the spoon brought up a collection of objects including things that looked like plant roots and twigs, with the diner having to find Waldo in the mix. Bull penis is more about texture than taste, but the broth imparted a nice flavor. Between the gristle-like pieces and the fatty component, I favored the latter although some of the other diners found it to be “slimy”.

The spoon holds a future generation of roostersThe spoon holds a future generation of roosters

After slurping down the hot penis (did I really just say that?), the chef brought out a live sea urchin that was spared the axe so that we could see the living creature accompanied by a dish of ice with close to 100 uni hanging off the plate like Leonardo DiCaprio on his makeshift Titanic raft. Uni is known as an aphrodisiac for several reasons: for starters, they are (and most assuredly look like) the female gonads of the sea urchin. In addition, uni is said to produce anandamide, a compound that stimulates the human dopamine system. Each diner was given a small dish with a wasabi/soy sauce blend with uno of the uni ceremoniously plopped into the brackish bath, but after eating the first marinated sac we simply started plucking them from the mound. After making short work of the unit a steaming crock of lobster segments were brought out accompanied by vegetables and garnished with cilantro and what looked like garlic. Upon closer inspection, the garlic turned out to be what the locals call “rooster fries” (the rooster’s calling cards that put the “hen” in “hentai”). I had enjoyed “chicken nuts” in hot pot previously and noted that they usually formed a larger pair, but I’m guessing these were the by-product of emasculation for capon creation. The taste was unmistakable: a little like a cross between a light liverwurst and egg white with a high fluidity. The thing that was odd was the combination of the lobster and cock balls in the same dish, a double-dose of well publicized aphrodisiacs.

Rich and tasty eel riceRich and tasty eel rice

The next dish was a pot of eel rice, complete with a variety of greens, wispy noodles and chunks of bacony pork. The eel sat almost whole on the top of the rice and were removed to a separate plate for distribution – they were moist, flavorful and unencumbered by the standard dousing of brown sauce. Eel is said to promote good eyesight and brain function so it may not be a good dish to have on a blind or first date. Chef Liang presented his omnipresent deer meat with leeks and star melon, mellow, meaty and sure to perk up your circulation (and we all know how important blood flow improvement is for an aphrodisiac); it also cures that acne that’s preventing you from finding Mr. or Ms. Right (or so I am told). The cold and refreshing greens with cellophane noodles and goji berries pleased the vegetarians in the group but also provided a nice diversion from the meat-laden meal. A cold steamed chicken dish with greens, seaweed and peppers seemed somewhat out of place at an aphrodisiac dinner, but I can’t argue that it’s always nice to bring your date back down the earth once you’ve scared the bejeezus out of them with a gonad chow-down. As with most of the elaborate feasts at Hop Woo, the dinner was capped with a bowl of medicinal digestive soup, rich and murky but not unpleasant – the fun part of having the soup is playing Guess the Ingredients, a game that everyone at the table seems to lose to the house every time.

A plate designed to show off the goji berriesA plate designed to show off the goji berries

If your romantic life needs a little kick start, Hop Woo’s aphrodisiac dinner may just be what the doctor ordered or it may just be a collection of foods with mystical, erotic mumbo jumbo surrounding it – either way someone’s sexual organs will be getting a workout, even if it’s other members of the animal kingdom.

Hop Woo
845 N. Broadway Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’48.88″N 118°14’16.05″W

GALLERY: See images from Hop Woo’s aphrodisiac dinner

Read The Minty’s, Eddie Lin’s and Vivianne Lapointe’s take on the aphrodisiac dinner
Listen to the KCRW segment on the aprodisiac dinner

NOTE: This cost for this meal was provided by the restaurant. The content provided in this article was not influenced whatsoever by the organizer of the event

 

 

Secret Chinese menu

Hop Woo, Chinatown L.A.

Yes, that is armadillo shell in the soupYes, that is armadillo shell in the soup

In the new vernacular, sitting down for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and having your chopsticks automatically replaced with a fork is referred to as being “whited”. Of course, one could argue that the waiter’s assumption of your eating utensil of choice is minor when you peel back the proverbial onion and discover that a considerable amount of Chinese restaurants have alternate menus: the Chinese menu, and the “secret” menu. I recently had the opportunity of joining food personality Eddie Lin on a fact-finding mission to Los Angeles’ Hop Woo restaurant in Chinatown to dive beneath the pages of the English language menu and discover the secret pleasures of the Chinese and secret menus. The Chinese menu is just that – a small, Little Black Book of Chinese cuisine printed completely in that language. Chef Liang was kind enough to read items from the menu and present some of the more exotic entries in their naked glory. The evening began with a platter of BBQ chicken feet of Himalayan proportions (somewhere a genius entrepreneur is making a fortune selling avian wheelchairs). I’m not sure these were on the Chinese menu – they seemed to be a conversation starter. While not as tender as the dim sum variety (phoenix talons), they made up for the labor required to extricate the meat in flavor – they were lightly coated in a delicious sauce and tossed with peanuts, black beans, green onions and chopped chilis.

Hair vegetable, a desert-grown bacteriumHair vegetable, a desert-grown bacterium

Chef Liang described the dishes in a variety of languages – in Cantonese with Eddie, in Mandarin with Mary (his friend and translator who joined us for dinner) and in Spanish with Claudia (a language he mastered while working in Mexico). I felt as if I needed the ear buds used by representatives of the United Nations for translation, but there was enough English being bandied about for me to understand what was going on. The meat in the first dish was described as “anteater”; Eddie surmised this to be aardvark (having watched one too many Pink Panther cartoons) but when a bit of shell was visible in a ladle of the soup presented it became apparent that the insectivore in question was in fact a nine-banded armadillo (yes sir, we were fixin’ to eat Texas Speedbump Soup). As with many of the dishes presented that evening, the armadillo soup is said to have healing properties – it is reputed to benefit the kidneys and lower back. Finding the edible armadillo meat was a challenge since the dark, earthy broth hid chunks of pork as well – in this dish, armadillo was “the other white meat”. Menu Item #2 looked like pasta rosettes but turned out to be goose intestines. These were cleaned remarkably well (the nose never lies) and mixed with three kinds of mushroom (drumstick, straw and shitake) taking on their woodsy flavor.

Deer with star melon and leeksDeer with star melon and leeks

Prior to Menu Item #3′s grand debut, Chef Liang brought out a dish of one of the ingredients that looked like some kind of aquatic insect larvae or a bad toupee being soaked but turned out to be bacteria referred to as “hair vegetable”. Nostoc flagelliforme (try asking for that at your friendly neighborhood farmer’s market) is green when it is “fresh” but turns black when dried prior to being reconstituted in water. Since the Cantonese name (faat choy) is similar sounding to the phrase for “good fortune”, it is a popular ingredient in dishes eaten during Lunar New Year. The hair vegetable was only one of the components of the next dish, which featured oysters that had been dried three times in the sun prior to cooking. The mound of oysters were sitting atop chunks of pork, capped with a large mushroom button and covered in a rich brown sauce, and although the hair vegetable didn’t offer a great deal of flavor, it dissolved delightfully on the tongue. Prior to Menu Item #4′s arrival, there was much international discussion about kneecaps which was lost on me until a disk of crispy fried chicken knees were placed on the table. It only stands to reason that if you’re robbing Chicken Little of his mobility by lopping off his feet you might as well kneecap him while you’re down there. These crunchy bites were pretty tasty – I’ve sometimes chewed the cartilage off the joints in a chicken leg, but Chef Liang made the amount of work required negligible and created a tasty snack in the process.

Tasty testes (lamb)Tasty testes (lamb)

Deer meat is said to have properties that benefit blood circulation and clear complexion, but I never have to be sold on chowing down on the Bambi platter. The odd thing about Menu Item #5 was that cooked with leeks and an unusual cucumber-like vegetable called star melon, the deer mellowed out, losing its sometimes wild flavor. The flesh was tender and moist and was by far the best venison dish I’ve eaten to date. I’m not sure Claudia was paying attention when the final item from the Chinese menu was brought out – she placed one of the small, brown disks in her mouth and said it didn’t taste much like lamb to her until I illustrated that she had never had that part of the male lamb before. I’ve had “lamb fries” at Cattlemen’s Steak House in Fort Worth previously and found them to have a tofu-like, spongy consistency that I didn’t much are for, but Chef Liang’s preparation was delicious and had a firm, rich texture. There were two sizes of the medallions with a slight variation in color; Chef Liang explained that this was due to the age difference in the donors.

Fried chicken knees (seriously)Fried chicken knees (seriously)

We ended the meal with a medicinal soup meant to aid in digestion; it contained various roots and tubers and big chunks of what tasted like a cross between yucca root and a cord of firewood. We didn’t sample any items from the secret menu since it’s printed in Chef Liang’s head – the secret menu is whatever you request that they happen to have the ingredients for on hand. In fact, if you request something that they can’t make on the spot, Chef Liang will let you know when he can get the ingredients and invite you back to enjoy your fantasy meal. I never cease to be amazed at the unusual dishes at Hop Woo, and I’m sure many other Chinese restaurants have similar items that aren’t on the Bubba menu. One thing is certain – when I sit down for my next meal at a Chinese restaurant I will muster my best polite smile and say, “Cobra, please”. Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Hop Woo
845 N. Broadway Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’48.88″N 118°14’16.05″W

GALLERY: See images from Val’s secret Chinese menu adventure at Hop Woo

Listen to Madeline Brand of KPCC with Eddie Lin experiencing the secret menu at Hop Woo

NOTE: This cost for this meal was provided by the restaurant. The content provided in this article was not influenced whatsoever by the organizer of the event

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