Archive for category USA

Back To The Future

A trippy look backward and forwards, 2011-2012

Great Scott, Marty, I thought 2011 would never endGreat Scott, Marty, I thought 2011 would never end

I got a haircut last night; nothing drastic like a Mr. T Mandinka or a Vanilla Ice high top fade, just a shorter version of what I typically wear. This was as much symbolic as it was maintenance – I looked on it as shedding the dead ends, the outgrowth gone to the ages. It might as well have been the trimmings of the old year hitting the barber shop floor. For the most part, the events that shaped 2011 (both locally and globally) have made us stronger individually and yet seem to have driven us farther apart in our ideologies, our tastes and our sense of humanity.

Site of the first Howard Johnson's in Quincy MASite of the first Howard Johnson's in Quincy MA

On a personal level, 2011 held less travel for me than in years gone by. By year’s end I managed to return to Boston after a nearly two year absence. The visits back to the land of my formative years are always bittersweet; while I love to see my family and friends I’ve known for decades, I always have a difficult time having to return to the West Coast. On the trip I took in many of the places I’ve loved for years (including Putnam Pantry in Danvers and Boston’s famous Union Oyster House), but also realized places that were so close most of my life and yet undiscovered such as the original Dunkin’ Donuts location in Quincy and Kane’s Donuts in Saugus. The promise of a road trip to see my brother in western New Jersey afforded me the opportunity to revisit loved break points (Rein’s Deli in Vernon, Connecticut); experience bucket list locations such as Louis’ Lunch in New Haven, Connecticut, Rutt’s Hut in Clifton, New Jersey; and, return to the place of my birth, Easton, Pennsylvania. What astounds me about living in California is that most natives can barely comprehend a 6-hour drive (equivalent to the quickest route by car from Los Angeles to San Francisco) that can take you through 7 states back East. Even my visit to my brother was a cultural experience in that he introduced me to the social and culinary taste delight of raclette in his home that evening with a visit to one of New Jersey’s legendary diners for breakfast.

Stumptown Coffee Roasters' legendary coffeeStumptown Coffee Roasters' legendary coffee

I made several trips to Portland, Oregon, a city I am falling in love with as it seems to incorporate all the things I love about New England and Austin, Texas, the two places where I’ve spent most of my adult life. Portland is a quirky city that proudly displays its eccentricities on its sleeve, and an amazing food town. Road trippers will also love Portland for its larger-than -life roadside attractions such as Harvey the Rabbit, Paul Bunyan and the largest loaf of bread and pair of sneakers you’re likely to see in your lifetime. One of my favorite spots is actually smaller-than-life – Mill Ends City Park, the world’s smallest park. From the food carts (many of which pre-date L.A.’s gourmet food trucks) to the Church of Elvis, from the Portlandia sculpture to the former White Stag (now Portland, Oregon) sign over Old Town, Stumptown Coffee to Voodoo Donuts, Portland is going to be a place I look forward to returning to in 2012.

Charleston, SC's historic Old City MarketCharleston, SC's historic Old City Market

My trip to Charleston will undoubtedly be the jewel in the crown of my lifetime travel achievements as visiting South Carolina completed my lifelong goal of visiting all 50 states. Although the city holds on a little too tight to its Confederacy leanings (it was, after all, where the Civil War started and where South Carolina became the first state to leave the union), the people are warm and bursting with legendary Southern hospitality. Charleston is a colonial town, similar to Boston, where the difference lies in its landscape – the tallest buildings in Charleston are the steeples of its historic churches. Visits to Fort Sumter, the Slave Mart and to see the recovered H.L. Hunley submersible were among a few of the historic sites I visited, and the amazing low country cuisine almost defies description. I enjoyed meals at Ernie’s, Gullah Cuisine Lowcountry Restaurant, Jack’s Cosmic Dogs, Hominy Grill and 82 Queen (to name but a few) that will always find a warm place in my heart and my stomach.

The Dali Museum in St. Petersburg FLThe Dali Museum in St. Petersburg FL

No trip is ever complete without a road trip, and my South Carolina adventure included a drive to the Tampa, Florida area to visit my daughter and fellow adventurer, Alie. After a brief stop in Savannah, Georgia to see the church where “Jingle Bells” was supposed to have been written and Chippewa Square’s imaginary Forrest Gump bus stop, I went on a boiled peanut-fueled adventure that included St. Petersburg’s Dali Museum, South Pasadena’s Ted Peter’s Famous Smoked Fish, Tampa’s world’s largest bowling pin and the Cuban-tinged downtown of Ybor City.  Prior to flying home, I made an impromptu stop at the Disney-meets-trailer park version of Mexicana known as South of the Border just across the North Carolina state line.

A giant bi bim bap in the making at the L.A. Street Food FestA giant bi bim bap in the making at the L.A. Street Food Fest

Back in Los Angeles, I discovered new restaurants and said goodbye to places I have visited; 2011 marked a farewell to Haldi Root, Angeli Caffe, The Manila Machine (Filipino gourmet food truck), Papoo’s Hot Dog Show and moko (among others), but opened my eyes to wonderfully accessible purveyors of delightful cuisine including King’s Row Gastropub, Larry’s, M.B. Post, Urbano Pizza Bar, Roxolana and a cast of characters to huge to mention. Rock star chef Ludo Lefebvre continued his legendary Ludo Bites popups while wunderkind Michael Voltaggio opened ink. and gourmet sandwich shop ink.sack, but I’ve decided to let the chef groupies cover the spots that are accessible to the wealthy or very lucky. My top celebrity chef moment had to be attending a media dinner at WP24 when Wolfgang Puck himself joined the group and gave us a tour of his kitchen. It was hard to continue to enjoy 5-star dining after taking a Sunday walk through Occupy L.A.‘s encampment; the experience has given me a profound appreciation for what I’ve been privileged to experience and will strive to cover more sites and dining locations in 2012 that are able to be enjoyed by everyone. I attended several of The Minty‘s food crawls in and around Los Angeles, and anticipate participating more in the new year, including her upcoming beef uterus crawl (one of the few bovine body parts I haven’t eaten yet).

Wayside Cafe's fried avocados at the Fallbrook Avocado FestivalWayside Cafe's fried avocados at the Fallbrook Avocado Festival

2011 was a good year for festivals including three of the regional county fairs, a visit to the original Renaissance Pleasure Faire, the famous Fallbrook Avocado and Santa Maria Menudo Festivals and amazing Italian, Danish, Mongolian and Anatolian festivals. The beauty of living is a state the size of California is that there are literally hundreds of festivals statewide, and I feel as if I’ve only scratched the surface. I plan to make it a goal to attend next year’s Coarsegold Tarantula Festival, even after being informed that there will be none of the hairy arachnids on the menu.

Hot dogs sautéed in cabernet sauvignon over brie and topped with seaweedHot dogs sautéed in cabernet sauvignon over brie and topped with seaweed

This past year saw me finding creative ways to prepare and cook dishes that I wouldn’t be able to get in a restaurant (pig penis on a stick and grunion rings come to mind immediately). I ended the year savoring shark’s fin soup, a dish whose days are numbered in California, but this year I hope to visit other states to find dishes on the California no-fly list: bear, horse, cuy, and squirrel, to name a few. Foie gras (at least goose liver pate made using the process of funneling grain down a waterfowl’s gut) is on its way out; a few rock star chefs are up in arms about the ban, blatantly announcing that they plan to defy it. Hopefully said chefs either find what the state determines to be a humane method of making foie gras or move on to making different dishes – surely they’re not one-trick ponies; after all, they’ve had about 8 years since California State Senate Bill 1520 passed to prepare. Personally, I’ve enjoyed it previously and won’t terribly miss it, but know sampling it again only requires a long drive or plane ticket if the desire is that strong. We could debate all day whether or not the practice is cruel; on one hand, you have people like Anthony Bourdain visiting a farm where he narrates how natural and painless the process is – on the other hand I personally watched Eddie Lin down three huge bowls of pho in February and when he could finally speak he swore in severe pain never to attempt that kind of competitive eating again.

Hanukkah lunch with foodie friends at Langer's Delicatessen in Los AngelesHanukkah lunch with foodie friends at Langer's Delicatessen in Los Angeles

In terms of the writing, I will continue to update both the web site and the Facebook page (a great deal of the content has been and will continue to be exclusive to each). I will welcome guest bloggers, strive to do more podcasts and video and vary the content to include themed articles (locations from a particular movie, etc.), music events and interviews and occasional commentary. I look forwarded to meeting new people in my adventures and have solidified friendships with many of the foodies, bloggers, restaurateurs and public relations folk that I’ve had the pleasure to share my experiences with. Unfortunately, there are still some in the community that choose not to accept my outstretched hand in friendship. To these people I hold no animosity; in some cases I feel sympathy (not empathy) for them as I wonder if they are as lonely and miserable as their demeanors suggest. That having been said, I will be cleaning house in 2012, and this includes dusting out the people I rarely communicate with on Twitter, Foursquare and Facebook who essentially don’t wish to communicate with me anyway. If you are in this group, my 2012 wish for you is that you open up your hearts and let sunshine in – with the current state of affairs in our country and the overwhelming atmosphere of divisiveness, separatism, greed and lack of empathy for our fellow human beings, we will learn to get along as a people or we will perish. For those I continue to follow or friend, please do me and your other followers a big favor – I realize you are limited to 140 characters, but please try to be a little more descriptive in your posts/tweets. While a post that simply says, “Agreed” or “That sounds delicious” may mean something to you and the person you’re targeting, it means absolutely nothing to the rest of us and becomes spam – that’s what DMs are for.

Honey persimmon pie from Fruit & Flour at Artisanal LA's 2011 Holiday Pop-UpHoney persimmon pie from Fruit & Flour at Artisanal LA's 2011 Holiday Pop-Up

Finally, since we all have an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start over, I ask from you what I promise to provide in 2012 and onward – honesty. If I meet you at an event, a restaurant, festival, etc., please don’t tell me you’ll keep in touch if that’s the farthest thing from your mind. If we discuss collaboration and you have no intention of working with me, tell me up front. In 2011, I spoke to no fewer than 3 Peruvian chefs who took my card and said they’d let me know where cuy was available in the L.A. area – I have heard from none. I discussed creating the historic oyster ice cream with several people who make ice cream who remarked that it sounded like a great idea, but one that apparently died on the vine. I assure you, I will not think less of you as a person; in fact I will probably have a higher respect for you for being honest. Friendship, like respect, is earned and I hope to earn both from those of you whom I do not currently enjoy either with; however it is not an expectation or requirement for us to work together. To those of you who read Trippy Food, I offer my thanks and hope you find it enjoyable; please feel free to comment or write to me at val@trippyfood.com. To those who do not, I invite you to share my experiences, but I bear no ill will if you feel for some reason that you can’t. Either way, I wish you all the best in 2011 and hope to see you on the road.

Val

GALLERY: See images from Val’s’ travels and culinary experiences in 2011

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Val’s Big Adventure

The Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA, Ray’s and Stark Bar
Los Angeles CA

Portal to the bizarre and wonderful Tim Burton exhibit at LACMAPortal to the bizarre and wonderful Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA

If Tim Burton was a band he’d undoubtedly be Pink Floyd – the nonsensical absurdity of Syd Barrett folded into the childhood angst and lament of Roger Waters. The LACMA exhibit is a comprehensive retrospect of Burton’s art from his formative teenage years (when he was drawing cartoons for advertisements and signage for the city of Burbank, California) through the art produced for and inspired by his films. The influence Mad Magazine had on the young Burton is undeniable; many of his early drawings imitated the floppy, google-eyed style of Mad’s Don Martin, with later nods to Antonio Prohias’ Spy vs. Spy with characters featuring impossibly triangular heads living in a black-and-white stark-lined world. Burton’s work can be somewhat uncomfortable to take in on a grand scale – where there is beauty, it is surrounded by pain; he creates a universe torn from the mind of a nihilistic Frida Kahlo and populated by industrial monsters. The three dimensional pieces are also stark and disturbing – a blue baby doll is geographically punctured by 60d nails; a fat, carnivorous centipede wearing a German WWII helmet wages battle; gnarled tree branches twist into botanical grotesques.

Untitled (Ramone), 1980 - 1990, Tim Burton (© Tim Burton)Untitled (Ramone), 1980 - 1990, Tim Burton (© Tim Burton)

As the exhibit progresses along a chronology, Burton’s drawings and paintings take on a quality befitting of Ralph Steadman and Gerald Scarfe with dark spatters of what hints at a variety of fluids – recurring themes include psychotic clowns that make Stephen King’s Pennywise seem like Ronald McDonald and would undoubtedly make a Juggalo soil his panties; Burton’s trademark candy striper and prison uniform stripes are everywhere. A step through a black curtain becomes entry into Burton’s cinematic art, where the familiar takes over. The first item on display is a demented carousel in a black-walled room softly illuminated by UV light; the Day-Glo sculpture is similar to the headgear Michael Keaton’s wore as he ascended from the floor of the Deetz’ residence in Beetlejuice. The movie props and models draw immediate recognition – the maze winds through Large Marge’s consecutively larger eyeballs; Michelle Pfeiffer’s cat suit from Batman Returns (which lying flat in a display case has about 100th of the appeal it did on Pfeiffer) along with The Penguin’s baby pram and a series of Michael Keaton’s latex masks; a mannequin with Johnny Depp’s costume from Edward Scissorhands including a not-so-threatening-up-close bladed glove in a nearby case; and puppets and models from several films including Nightmare Before Christmas and The Corpse Bride.

The featured Dr. Burton (L) and Patina Cuvée sparkling brut (R)The featured Dr. Burton (L) and Patina Cuvée sparkling brut (R)

The exhibition appropriately ends on Halloween (October 31st); attendance will likely increase as that date grows closer, and the lines on Halloween will probably be longer than an Oingo Boingo reunion show. Chances are you’ll work up an appetite as you stroll hand-in-hand through the Valley of Darkness, easily remedied by a stop at Ray’s and Stark Bar on the courtyard entrance to the Burton exhibit. Burton himself helped create a drink being offered by Stark Bar for the duration of the show, the slyly-named Dr. Burton. This syrupy concoction is a blend of soda water, Don Q white rum, Cherry Heering, Amaretto Di Saronno and Amaro CioCiaro digestif, cheerfully accented with a fresh cherry and it’ll make your hair stand on end faster than you can say Jack Skellington. The first sip hits like carbonated cough syrup, but the drink becomes slowly addictive; a word of warning – like the Burton exhibit, this is not a drink for the faint of heart.

Silverware is hidden in a drawer at the tableSilverware is hidden in a drawer at the table

For a while, Ray’s was offering Burton-themed menu items in conjunction with the exhibition; these included the Alice in Wonderland-inspired “Rabbit with Tea in a Mushroom Forest” featuring bacon-wrapped bunny with Mission figs, onions, chanterelle mushrooms and pistachio as well as a tribute to Edward Scissorhands (razor clams in squid olive broth with octopus and piquillo peppers over polenta). Unfortunately the ability to source high-quality ingredients was for a limited time and so the “Dr. Burton” is currently the only Burtonesque item, but the cuisine at Ray’s is itself art and worthy of attention. Ray’s itself is reminiscent of a display case; at some of the tables recessed glass cabinets hold the items from the Ellen Palevsky Cup Collection, a variety of tea cups and saucers by designers from the 1920s through the 1950s. Even the tables have an artistic slant – the silverware is tucked into a drawer built into the furniture.

Okra with fried peanuts bacon and coconutOkra with fried peanuts bacon and coconut

Our post-Burton dining adventure started with a curious and refreshing half-dollar-sized amuse bouche of golden watermelon gelée with miniscule cubed cucumber, Chambord and basil; plated, it begged to be lapped up but I wisely chose a spoon as my implement of destruction. A toasty-skinned ricotta gnudi featured 2-day aged ricotta gnocchi and the sage and brown butter made these fluffy bites smoky and earthy. One surprising dish as odd as a Tim Burton sculpture was an okra plate with fried peanuts, Allan Benton bacon, chili and coconut; prior to this moment, if you had told me that someone had accented okra with coconut and peanuts, I’d have told you that you were nuts, but the crunch of the fried peanuts, the sweetness of the coconut and the kick from the chiles turned lowly okra into one of the standout dishes of the evening.

Creative and artistic pork belly with golden watermelonCreative and artistic pork belly with golden watermelon

Prior to its arrival at the table, I had envisioned the marinated bay scallops in avocado crema and tomato jelly with caviar as a hopped-up ceviche, but the dish was a departure, with the sweet, delicate scallops imparting a wonderful soft taste; as ambitious as the roasted chile stuffed with venison chorizo was, the char on the pepper overpowered the taste of the deer, a feat I would have thought impossible. I had to laugh slightly when our waiter Pedro called it “chile relleno” since that’s obviously what it was, although in a very clever disguise.

Boudin blanc with puréed potatoBoudin blanc with puréed potato

The dish to beat had to be the pork belly with golden watermelon, a creative and aesthetically pleasing arrangement of checkerboard cubes of each with a crown of basil and flanked by tiny pools of basil seeds. I wasn’t sure is I should eat it or have it framed, but after my first flavor-packed bite I was calling it temporary art. The natural black pig pork had a thin crust and a mild flavor that was complemented by the watermelon bringing out the sweetness until the chile crept up from behind with an insidious kick to the head. Disrobed, a cleverly disguised bangers and mash was discovered to be a boudin blanc accompanied by a cream-based puréed potato with truffle butter and truffle oil and what should legally be declared the new sauerkraut – a mound of tangy-yet-mild shredded Savoy cabbage. The sausage was heady with a hint of truffle and was handily sliced into segments perfectly sized for dipping in the mash.

Air Dancers, 2011, Tim BurtonAir Dancers, 2011, Tim Burton

The final dish looked like the miniature aftermath of a cockfight; two denuded quail lay prostrate atop a bed of white grits in a litter of ground sausage, whole grapes and Idiazabel cheese. The grilled birds were moist as hell, unusual for poultry with not much meat, but they had been brined prior to grilling. Although this resulted in tender meat that separated easily from the bone, there was a little residual saltiness present that a spoonful of the grits neatly curbed. I was initially disappointed that the Burton items were unavailable, but the astounding culinary artistry and parade of flavors that made its way to the table more than made up for it.

The Tim Burton exhibit is visceral, bizarre and slightly disturbing but it is well worth a visit for a peek inside the mind of a creative genius and for the nostalgic value of taking a cinematic journey through his films. Tim Burton-inspired menu or not, Ray’s and Stark Bar is also worth the visit for the creativity, edginess and artistry of the cuisine. If you decide to head on down the road and check it out, be sure to tell ‘em Large Marge sent you.

Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA)
Ray’s and Stark Bar
5905 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90036
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’48.17″N 118°21’32.10″W

GALLERY: See images from Val’s’ trip to the 2011 Los Angeles County Fair in Pomona, California

NOTE: Admission to the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA and dinner at Ray’s and Stark bar was provided by organizer of the event, who did not in any way influence the content of this article.

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Gringo Star

South of the Border

Hamer, South Carolina

Pedro looms over the site of the original beer standPedro looms over the site of the original beer stand

Mention the phrase “South of the Border’ and thoughts turn to Mexican border towns catering to American tourists with local cuisine and cheap handmade crafts for sale. Hamer, South Carolina’s South of the Border is not one of these places. This sprawling faux-Mexican roadside attraction is over a square mile in size, but it is more akin to the Frito Bandito meets Wall Drug than a tip of the hat to towns such as Tijuana, Matamoras or Nuevo Laredo. South of the Border features 5 restaurants, 7 gift shops, a motor inn, a miniature golf course (with the tongue-in-cheek moniker of “The Golf of Mexico”), a sombrero-shaped observation tower, a kiddy amusement park and the largest collection of concrete critters (and stereotypical Mexican cartoon statues) this side of the South Dakota badlands. SOB (as a nearby water tower nicknames the city-within-a-city) wasn’t always the road trip stopover destination it is today – it has blossomed from its humble beginnings as a tiny beer stand (South of the Border Beer Depot). Alan Schafer opened the stand in 1949 to serve beer to citizens who crossed the North/South Carolina border from dry Robeson County to wet their whistles. At the time, the name simply indicated its location just south of the North Carolina border in Hamer. The stand became so popular that Schafer was able to add 20 motel rooms to the site in 1954 (giving patrons who had too much of good thing a place to crash rather than on the roads back north). With the Interstate System creation of I-95 in the 1950s, the stop became a regular place for drivers motoring between New York and Florida; the later addition of a grill heralded the name change to South of the Border Drive-In. It wasn’t until Schaefer began selling souvenirs brought back from a trip to Mexico that the Mexican theme originated. On one of these trips, he arranged for two boys to come back with him to work as bellboys in the hotel. As you would expect from the racially tolerant, culturally-understanding southerners of the 1950s, the two boys were given the names “Pedro” and “Pancho”, until at one point they were both simply called “Pedro”. People became so accustomed to the name Pedro that to this day, every employee of South of the Border is named Pedro. If it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling, know that native Ben Bernanke (yes, the Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke) was a summer Pedro to earn money for college.

The hamburger looks like a larger version of my rented VWThe hamburger looks like a larger version of my rented VW

The Mexican caricature of Pedro has become so synonymous with SOB that billboards up and down I-95 through multiple states feature Pedro with ridiculous puns (think, “You never sausage a place”). If South of the Border is your destination, the hundreds of remaining billboards are there to constantly remind you how close you are. The kid’s cries of “Are we there yet?” are totally unnecessary – when you see Sombrero Tower looming for several miles in the distance, you’ll know you’re there. The tower (a late addition) features a glass elevator that for a paltry dollar will whisk you above the South Carolina countryside to a spectacular 360-degree view from the brim of the hat. Unfortunately the view from the Space Needle of the East is primarily comprised of fields and trees (this is, after all, Hamer, South Carolina and not New York City). The tower is described as anywhere from 165 to 200 feet tall; however the SOB brochure lists it at a dubious 300 feet tall. The base of the tower is housed in an arcade, the perfect place to get rid of those annoying coins laying about the floor of the family sedan. The Mexico Shop East and Sombrero Restaurant now occupy the site where the original beer stand stood; outside a 97-foot flat Pedro straddles the parking lot holding up a blackboard-looking South of the Border sign. The Mexico Shop East is one of many selling the same types of cheap Mexican souvenirs you’d expect to find in a real border town, except it is about the size of a small K-Mart.

One of the many concrete Pedros that populate SOBOne of the many concrete Pedros that populate SOB

To the left of the gift shop check-out counter is a neon portal to what can probably be called “Classic Gabacho Mexican Cuisine”, the themed Sombrero Restaurant. I carefully weighed my food options – I could have chosen Pedro’s Diner, the various burger, hot dog and ice cream stands, or the Peddler Steakhouse, but I decided to go with the Mexican theme and patronize the Sombrero. Vinyl cowhide booths under adobe arches are lit by Tiffany-style swag lamps that look like they’d be more at home at a TGI Fridays, and the most polite (Anglo) wait staff are attentive to all your fake Mexican needs. I went with the enchilada plate (mixing beef and chicken) that featured sides of rice and refried beans and tortilla chips that were undoubtedly out of a bag. How was the food, you ask? Well, it didn’t suck, and oddly I mean that as a compliment. The food was a far cry better than the infamous Mexican food impostor, Taco Bell, but it was somewhat lacking in spice. The enchiladas were firm and the meat tasted fresh (it wasn’t the goopy Tex-Mex disaster I feared); the shredded iceberg lettuce and diced tomato strewn about the top weren’t mushy or wilted. The beans were somewhat dry, but not like they were hours old, and the rice was as white as it’s origin. I asked for a bottle of Tabasco just to add some kick to it, and imagined that the food is geared towards busloads of elderly tourists on their way to West Palm Beach or Atlantic City. The waitress confided that since Shafer died of leukemia in July of 2001, his sons have “cut corners” resulting in a decline in quality but the grounds seemed kept up well and the concrete denizens appeared to all be sporting fresh paint (for some strange reason, the gorilla had a painted-on shirt, but no pants).

Bland but decent fake Mexican foodBland but decent fake Mexican food

As Rednexican as this kitsch Disneyland is, you have no excuse for not stopping to take in the rambling park that looks like something out of a Tim Burton daydream, as SOB is open 365 days a year. It is a convenient time-killer on that snowbird trek down the eastern seaboard, located almost exactly halfway between New York and Florida. You could even make it an overnight stop, and if the romance and charm get to you, consider taking advantage of SOB’s wedding package that will get you hitched and provide you with the honeymoon suite and a free breakfast before continuing on your journey to see the world’s largest bowling pin. In these days of nationalism, it’s nice to know that you can travel freely south of a border that never closes and that the only papers you’ll need are roadmaps.

South of the Border
3346 Highway 301 North
Hamer, SC 29547
GPS Coordinates: 34°29’53.59″N 79°18’31.99″W

GALLERY: See images from Val’s visit to South of The Border, Hamer SC

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Dude, Let’s Go Bowling

World’s Largest Bowling Pin

Tampa, Florida

Alie and I are shown actual sizeAlie and I are shown actual size

The prime target in any bowling alley lane is the 1 (or head) pin. A straight smack to the head pin generally sends the remaining pins screaming to the back of the lane in a satisfying cataclysm of battered wood. That head pin stands at attention, smirking, laughing and taunting you to take your best shot, an evil little bottle-shaped chunk of maple that makes you not only want to knock it down, but to kill it outright. Now picture that pin 30 feet tall, poised to knock you down. That’s what you’ll come face-to-face with when you ascend the escalator at Channelside Bay Plaza, an open-air plaza mall just steps between the TECO Line Streetcar and the cruise ship terminal at Tampa Harbor. The pin itself is taller than the bowling alley it appears to have escaped from (Splitsville Lanes), and although it doesn’t seem formidable looking down into the courtyard at it, the pin dwarfs even the tallest bowler. As impressive as this superlative sporting good sculpture is, you can’t help looking around for a Indiana Jones-style bowling ball to come rolling down the escalator. The pin has stood outside the front entrance to Splitsville since their opening in Tampa in 2004, and it has become a photo opportunity, a tourist attraction and a holy grail for ‘world’s largest” object hunters.

The dining and drinking area with its bowling pin columnsThe dining and drinking area with its bowling pin columns

When you visit the world’s largest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas, you have the opportunity to interact with the behemoth by winding twine around it; at Splitsville Lanes, once you’ve lingered in front of the pin for awhile, there’s only one obvious thing left to do – go bowling. The inside is clean as a whistle with a throwback, retro 1950s look. As you walk in, a look to the left reveals a very fully stocked bar and restaurant with tables and booths accented with ridiculously high-backed leather benches. The area to the right of the drinking and dining area features ceiling-high bowling pin columns that look like offspring of Big Daddy standing watch out front. At the very back, custom bowling balls sit in cubby holes behind Plexiglas next to a giant multi-colored high-heel pump sculpture that seems out of place in a bowling alley (perhaps a bowling shoe would have made a better subject); the lanes themselves are cordoned off into three sections of four lanes each. As retro as the place is, you won’t find yourself placing an “X” on a newsprint grid with little yellow pencils – the scorekeeping is modernized so that to can view your score automatically on the monitor at your lane or watch in horror as it is displayed on the large monitor above. After each ball, the monitor sizes up what you have left to hit and gives you degrees of difficulty and tips (although I think it gave up on me very early on). The lane area features a tall, plush curved bench with a round table in the middle – a waitperson will bring menus and deliver food and drink right to where you’re sitting; you can imagine how helpful it is to have food grease all over your hands while you’re hurling a 16-pound spherical resin projectile through the air.

Though I walk to the Lane of Darkness I will fear no evilThough I walk to the Lane of Darkness I will fear no evil

No detail is overlooked – daughter Alie arrived sans socks, but we were able to conveniently purchase a pair of white cotton peds at the shoe rental counter. As neither of us are frequent bowlers, we played with the house’s balls, although it took us half a string to find the right weight and fit. If you haven’t suffered enough humiliation and choose to bowl another game, you simply let them know at the front desk (otherwise the system conveniently shuts itself down). You can end up having so much fun bowling, drinking and dining that you’ll forget that the reason you showed up in the first place was to see the kingpin outside. Whether you’re a Jeffrey Lebowski, Split Carson, Roy Munson, or a “50″ bowler like me, it’s damned near impossible to hit Splitsville Lanes and not have a good time – just leave the Pomeranian at home.

Splitsville Lanes
Channelside Bay Plaza
615 Channelside Drive
Tampa, Florida 33602
GPS Coordinates: 27°56’34.95″N  82°26’48.69″W

GALLERY: See images from Val and Alie’s visit to Splitsville in Tampa, Florida

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I Love L.A.

Los Angeles’ Historic Core District

Grand Central Market, Million Dollar Theater (L); Bradbury Building (R)Grand Central Market, Million Dollar Theater (L); Bradbury Building (R)

I have to wonder why many writers in Los Angeles have a fixation and focus on whatever is new as opposed to the fascinating remnants of the old guard. Although historically there is not much dating back past the 19th century, there are some beautifully restored reminders of our past that are worth checking out, with a considerable amount of them congregating in one area – the Historic Core District. This area is bounded by Hill, Main, 3rd and 9th Streets, and encompasses what was considered Los Angeles in the early half of the 1900s. The Core District has had its share of ups and downs and until recently was more down than up. Since the 1990s, a major effort has been under way to revitalize the area and bring back these gems to their former glory while making it a safe and fun place for people to visit. The area includes the original Los Angeles (El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río de Porciúncula, a mouthful to be sure) which is located to the north in and around Olvera Street, Pershing Square, L.A. City Hall, the Biltmore Hotel and old quirky restaurants such as Clifton’s Cafeteria, and the French dip warriors Cole’s and Philippe. There is no way I could do a single article highlighting all the notable points of interest in the Core District, so I’ll focus on a single block between Broadway, Hill, 3rd and 4th Streets (a very short walk from the Pershing Square Metro station, and with plenty of street parking).

The sky lit atrium of the Bradbury BuildingThe sky lit atrium of the Bradbury Building

We’ll start our tour on Broadway; from the middle of the east side of the street (looking towards the intersection of Broadway and West 2nd Street) the magnificent architecture of the Million Dollar Theater and the Bradbury Building dominate the view. From the outside, the Bradbury seems unfamiliar, but once you pass through the beautiful bare wood doorway you will immediately recognize it from countless television shows and movies (the most popular being Blade Runner – ironically, architect George Wyman designed the building inspired by the 1887 science fiction novel “Looking Backwards”). Built in 1893 at a then-astronomical price of around $500,000, the building had fallen into disrepair over the years but has been lovingly restored to its original grandeur after being given landmark status in 1977. The sky lighted atrium is breathtaking – the tile walls give way to each of the floors, which are decorated with wrought-iron railings and wood accents and ceilings; an open wrought iron cage elevator takes occupants up to the 5th floor. Although the building is filled with occupied offices, visitors with business in the building must check in with the guard; all other visitors are only permitted up to the first level.

Center aisle of Grand Central MarketCenter aisle of Grand Central Market

Directly across the street is one of the oldest movie palaces in the United States, the 1918 Million Dollar Theater. The theater was built by Sid Grauman, who is probably better known for his Chinese Theater in Hollywood featuring stars’ hand and footprints in cement. Through the 1940s the theater featured popular live acts of the day along with movies; in the late 40s, it became a center for Spanish language entertainment. The theater was closed for several years but recently renovated and re-opened once again as a Latino entertainment center. To the left of the Million Dollar Theater in the same block is Los Angeles’ famous Grand Central Public Market. Built and operating since 1917, it is the definitive place to get fresh produce, meat and specialty items or hard-core ethnic cuisine. During operating hours the Broadway and Hill Street entrances are fully opened giving the indoor market the appearance of an outdoor bazaar. The cement floors are covered in sawdust, and it’s not unusual to see a pigeon or two wandering around inside (trying to avoid ending up in butcher paper, I imagine). One of my personal favorite stalls goes by the odd name of Roast to Go. The stall wears its menu on its sleeve, with their food displayed prominently in steam-covered glass cases, but it’s their unusual Mexican offerings that make it one of my favorite places to get a bite in Los Angeles. The menu features lengua (tongue), hog maw (stomach), pork snout, beef cheeks and more – I couldn’t resist the temptation of the tongue rising from the tangy depths of a sauce filled tray and ordered one lengua and one hog maw taco. There couldn’t have been two more different tasting meats – the lengua was tender and fatty and worked well as a contrast to the traditional taco fillings; the hog maw had a firm and chewy consistency and a delicious flavor that would be difficult to describe as porcine. Farther down at Maria’s Seafood I found something I hadn’t had the pleasure of trying previously – charales. Charales are tiny freshwater fish from Mexico that are battered and fried whole, then eaten as a snack or in tacos. I decided that a taco was in order, and the spicy, crispy fish were the perfect complement to the cool tomato and lettuce.

Angels Flight, the worlds shortest railwayAngels Flight, the worlds shortest railway

After chowing down on any of the traditional “food of the people” at Grand Central Market, take a walk out the Hill Street entrance and cross the street to one of Los Angeles’ hidden gems, Angels Fight. The funicular (similar to Pittsburgh’s Monongahela and Duquesne Inclines) has the distinction of being the shortest railway in the world (with a good arm you could throw a stone from one end to the other of its 298-foot length). The railway was built in 1901 and continued operating through 1969 when it was dismantled for redevelopment of the land it was on (half a block from its current location). It was moved to its current location and reopened in 1996 connecting the Core District at Hill and West 2nd Streets with the modern Bunker Hill California Plaza, and was registered as a historic landmark in 2000. Angels Flight was closed after a fatal accident in February 2001 when one of the cars reversed direction and sped to the bottom and crashed, killing an 83-year old passenger. After 9 years of rebuilding, installing safety features and thorough testing, Angels Flight reopened on March 15, 2010. You can still ride in the original wooden cars; at 50 cents for a round-trip the brief ride on the world’s shortest railway is the best half-dollar you’ll ever spend.

Lengua on the left, hog maw on the rightLengua on the left, hog maw on the right

There is a multitude of other historic spots in and around Los Angeles (some of which I’ll have to cover in other articles) but I suggest you seek out and enjoy these gems before they are lost in the tide of history. To know and love L.A. requires an appreciation not just of where it is going, but where it has been. Although I’m not  as enthusiastic about it as Randy Newman, you don’t have to look far to find something to love in L.A.

The Bradbury Building
304 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90012
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’2.35″N 118°14’53.03″W

The Million Dollar Theater
307 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’3.01″N 118°14’53.78″W

Grand Central Market
317 South Broadway Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34 3’1.95″N 118°14’54.79″W

Angels Flight
351 South Hill Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013
GPS Coordinates: 34°3’3.86″N 118°14’59.38″W

Los Angeles Business Improvement District

GALLERY: See images of Val’s visit to a historic block of L.A.’s Historic Core District

Hear Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.”


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